l0viely:

intentionallyhomosexual:

totallynotmisha:

 

hawk-and-handsaw:

It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached. 

How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind

OH SHIT

thefoxxnextdoor:

My thing is, have sex whenever you decide to want to have sex. You want to have sex on the first night, go ahead. You want to have sex after 20 dates, go ahead. You want to never have sex, go ahead. People think that someone’s sexual choices actually coincide with their personality. If all you can think of someone’s worth is whether they want to have sex or not, then the problem is probably you.

flewor:

"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story

(Source: flewor)

hhantu:

franfrancatman:

My dad and I made this fishtank for my mum for Christmas a few years ago with dollhouse furniture. I thought it was pretty rad

i cant believe your mom is a fish

dennys:

roses are red
violets are blue
syrup is sugary
and boy howdy do i love syrup
come on now
give me some more of that syrup!
all the syrup ya got!
oh, um, and yadda yadda yadda
something that rhymes with blue.

ocevns:

Me: Hmm, it’s 11:30, I’ll just check tumblr before bed
Me: Why is it 3am now

xelamanrique:

this was my favorite part of the anaconda video.

xelamanrique:

this was my favorite part of the anaconda video.

ninihoho:

me when i get to school

I’m still really upset and angry. He did it once, the camera happened to be on him, he did it once and I think it’s the funniest joke that’s ever been on our show. - Michael Schur (x)

(Source: chrisprattings)

vicious-desperation:

bepeu:

no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed

sexpectinq:

new school year
new alcohol 

sexpectinq:

new school year

new alcohol 

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male, 21 years old, cwru, and from the mitten.
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